Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever 2002

John Monaghan, Detroit Free Press: The action scenes have all the suspense of a 20-car pileup, while the plot holes are big enough for a train car to drive through -- if Kaos hadn't blown them all up. Read more

Connie Ogle, Miami Herald: A fine achievement in stupidity and dullness despite plenty of explosions. Read more

Richard Roeper, Ebert & Roeper: One of the worst movies of the year. Read more

Erik Lundegaard, Seattle Times: The reunion scene between Ecks and his wife is seat-squirmingly awful. It's one of the few moments where there isn't an explosion, and where we really could've used one. Read more

Manohla Dargis, Los Angeles Times: Ballistic is a generic blur of metallic blue and fireball orange set to the contrapuntal sounds of throbbing techno and eardrum-puncturing noise. Read more

Jay Boyar, Orlando Sentinel: To the civilized mind, a movie like Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever is more of an ordeal than an amusement. Read more

Susan Stark, Detroit News: Read more

Elvis Mitchell, New York Times: It's loud and boring; watching it is like being trapped at a bad rock concert. Read more

Lou Lumenick, New York Post: The awkwardly titled Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (try saying it 10 times fast) amply demonstrates how even a movie with wall-to-wall action can be a crashing bore. Read more

Jocelyn Noveck, Associated Press: For many viewers, the big question may be not whether Ecks and Sever will get together, or why they are fighting in the first place, but why am I sitting here, anyway? Read more

J. R. Jones, Chicago Reader: Before seeing this film I couldn't understand why the producers had given it a subtitle; afterward I realized Ecks vs. Sever was probably the full script. Read more

Eleanor Ringel Gillespie, Atlanta Journal-Constitution: I'd truly hoped that Ballistic would be a kicky so-bad- it's-good guilty pleasure. But it's too flat, stale, confusing and lazy. Read more

Keith Phipps, AV Club: An action film starring Antonio Banderas and Lucy Liu, Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever looks like a video-game promo, has a story that plays like the fifth episode of a struggling syndicated action show, and feels like a headache waiting to happen. Read more

Wesley Morris, Boston Globe: Director Wych Kaosayananda -- or Kaos, to you -- is stupendously inept, unable even to properly light a combat sequence. Read more

Robert K. Elder, Chicago Tribune: Ballistic offers little beyond what you'd find in a typical subpar Hollywood action film. Read more

Eric Harrison, Houston Chronicle: There's lots of fighting, which is a good thing because the action in this movie is better than the talk. But that isn't saying much. Read more

Bruce Fretts, Entertainment Weekly: Kaos was apparently aiming for a coolly stylized, straight-faced take on Spy vs. Spy. As Maxwell Smart used to say, 'Missed it by that much.' Read more

Gary Dowell, Dallas Morning News: Ballistic is all over the map, a series of overwrought-yet -underachieving action set pieces punctuated by a muddled story line. Read more

Paul Malcolm, L.A. Weekly: While much of the film's action ... comes live, as opposed to the digital mayhem of the game, Thai director Kaos (a.k.a. Wych Kaosayananda), making his inauspicious Hollywood debut, still can't breathe any life into it. Read more

Jan Stuart, Newsday: If you collected all the moments of coherent dialogue, they still wouldn't add up to the time required to boil a four- minute egg. Read more

Jami Bernard, New York Daily News: Between explosions there is enough room left for only minimal character development. Read more

James Berardinelli, ReelViews: This grim, joyless motion picture is anything but fun. It's a chore to sit through, with all the blazing, noisy pyrotechnics proving unable to lighten the mood. Read more

Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times: Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever is an ungainly mess, submerged in mayhem, occasionally surfacing for cliches. Read more

Andrew O'Hehir, Salon.com: Kaos, the screenwriters and the actors occasionally seem to forget even the tiny handful of plot points that have been established, such as the names of the characters. Read more

Mick LaSalle, San Francisco Chronicle: Two big things are missing -- anything approaching a visceral kick, and anything approaching even a vague reason to sit through it all. Read more

Stephen Cole, Globe and Mail: Connoisseurs of bad action-movie dialogue will delight in scenes that have "DIA" operatives, dressed in what look like black beekeeper outfits, racing about Vancouver with machine guns slung over their shoulders. Read more

Susan Walker, Toronto Star: Some movies were made for the big screen, some for the small screen, and some, like Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever, were made for the palm screen. Read more

Mike Clark, USA Today: For years, people have joked about an action movie that might eliminate plot altogether and simply cut to the pyrotechnics. Someone has finally done it. Read more

Robert Koehler, Variety: One well-timed explosion in a movie can be a knockout, but a hundred of them can be numbing. Proof of this is Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever. Read more

Desson Thomson, Washington Post: Enough to make a critic go ballistic. Read more

Stephen Hunter, Washington Post: Almost completely uninvolving, as well as being impenetrable. Read more