Reviews provided by RottenTomatoes
... a big, bold blast so swaggeringly expressed and self-knowingly built that it wins you over with its sheer bravado.
New York Times:
[It] has a plot as unambitious as a macaroni dinner, familiar and easy to eat and not particularly nutritious.
New York Observer:
Battleship is dopey, preposterous and unintentionally hilarious in all the wrong places, but as directed by Peter Berg, it is also energetic, fast-moving and bracing.
Wall Street Journal:
Like "Transformers," which it rivals in relentlessness, "Battleship" comes with its own force field, a furious energy that renders criticism irrelevant.
The Marines got that commercial where the recruit slays the fire-spewing lava monster, and now the Navy has its two-hour propaganda film about the glories of fighting alien invaders positioned in neat little quadrants at sea. Just try to forget it's a toy
Hey, if you're Hasbro and Universal, and you've agreed to make a movie based on nothing more than brand recognition of a game, you've got to fill two hours with something.
Once the special effects take over, Berg has little room to assert his personality (or tell a story, for that matter), and the movie feels like a chore.
Christian Science Monitor:
If the movie is anything like the game, I say stay at home and read a good book (or graphic novel). Or listen to an audiobook - In short, do anything else.
"Battleship" doesn't sink, really. It just sits there booming endlessly as you look on aghast.
Surrounding the alien rumpus, the filmmakers have built an unexpectedly sincere salute to the awesome responsibilities of today's U.S. Navy as well as to the heroic work of veterans who came before.
Impressive visual effects and Berg's epic set pieces fight against an armada of cinematic cliches and some truly awful dialogue.
Los Angeles Times:
Something of an earnest, two-hour infomercial that should do wonders for naval recruiting if not civilian entertainment.
San Jose Mercury News:
Not all of "Battleship" works. But even when you're laughing at it -- not with it -- the blockbuster remains silly fun, leaks and all.
At one point, a hot chick in a Jeep saves the world by ramming her car into an alien thingamajig.
"Battleship" employs the same nonintelligent strategy as the Hasbro board game: Fire blindly at broad targets and wait for explosions.
As big, dumb summer movies go ... this is just another big, dumb summer movie. And one that makes you feel slightly dumber for having watched it.
Well, it has aliens, for one thing.
New York Daily News:
"Battleship" is the worst humans-fighting-aliens movie I've ever seen. And I've seen a lot of humans-fighting-aliens movies.
New York Post:
It makes "Top Gun" look like the work of Orson Welles. At least the Tom Cruise movie remembered to cast actual actors.
Battleship has the IQ of a rutabaga and doesn't require much more intelligence than that to watch.
The film eventually comes down to lots of scenes in which things get blowed up real good.
Battleship is all noise and crashing metal, sinking to the shallows of Michael Bay's Armageddon and then digging to the brain-extinction level of the Transformers trilogy.
Berg has definitely spent his reported $200 million budget on stuff you can see. It's just all so profoundly stupid.
This is the kind of summer movie that softens your brain tissue without even providing the endocrine burst of pleasure that would make it all worthwhile.
"Battleship" is big, dumb fun that knows it's big, dumb fun and enthusiastically embraces its big, dumb, fun nature.
St. Louis Post-Dispatch:
Some guilty-pleasure cheese atop a ration of stale popcorn can't cleanse the distastefulness that "Battleship" leaves in its wake.
Battleship is substantially less awful than it could have been. And for me, that may have been the biggest disappointment of all.
Globe and Mail:
One can be sure that heroic characters get what they want, bond with enemies, and earn respect.
I was never bored. And that, sadly, makes it better than most of the other expensive and over-hyped films of its ilk.
Battleship, a commercial for, alternately, the military or Michael Bay's back catalog, feels sunken from an overdose of charmless grunting and computer-generated ballast.
The loudest, dumbest alien-invasion movie based on a board game since, well, ever.
Mostly, Battleship is a noisy, overlong and numbing military-vs.-aliens saga with laughably bad dialogue.
Overlong and underwritten even by the standards of summer f/x extravaganzas, this Battleship will nonetheless float with many on the strength of its boyish, eager-to-please razzle-dazzle.
When the F-14s came out for a triumphant flyover, I looked around the room to find the moron who was applauding only to realize that it was me.