Conan the Barbarian 2011

Critics score:
24 / 100

Reviews provided by RottenTomatoes

Ty Burr, Boston Globe: Even the Schwarzenegger version had a crackpot long-range vision. This Conan is just a barbarian for hire. Read more

Manohla Dargis, New York Times: Mr. Momoa has some awfully big biceps to fill. He rises to that task with a pumped physique made for ogling. Read more

Tom Keogh, Seattle Times: This Conan barely qualifies as a character, smirking and hacking his way through life, never evolving into someone who can change or whom you want to follow. Read more

Keith Phipps, AV Club: [Momoa] barks and growls his dialogue with the unpracticed enthusiasm of a first-time Ren Fair performer. Read more

Bill Goodykoontz, Arizona Republic: There's just not a lot to like here, with the exception of what may be one of the all-time best bad movie lines, one Conan utters to Tamara as a kind of personal credo: "I live. I love. I slay. I am content." That makes one of us. Read more

Christy Lemire, Associated Press: It didn't seem possible for there to be even less characterization than there was in the original "Conan," but voila. Read more

Ben Sachs, Chicago Reader: At its best the movie suggests a funhouse at a state-of-the-art county fair; at its worst it's a fairly dumb celebration of brute violence. Read more

Michael Phillips, Chicago Tribune: I've certainly seen worse movies this summer, though I hope that if director Nispel returns to the land of Hyboria he'll learn that sword fights don't respond well to his chaotic brand of staging, made worse by the editing. Read more

Gary Dowell, Dallas Morning News: Dull and uninvolving, Conan the Barbarian occasionally verges on escaping its rut, but never makes good on the promise. It's busy without having energy, a loud, lackluster mess. Read more

Lisa Schwarzbaum, Entertainment Weekly: Here's a movie that's simultaneously lavishly violent and numbing, visually ornate and undistinguished, epic and shallow, relentlessly noisy and tone-deaf, workmanlike and unfilling. Read more

Laremy Legel, Shoddy acting, no real plot, and silly dialogue? You betcha! Read more

Kirk Honeycutt, Hollywood Reporter: Non-stop blood-and-guts action aimed at game boys and emotionally stunted lovers of adolescent fantasy. Read more

Betsy Sharkey, Los Angeles Times: It's kind of a wicked blast to watch, especially if you're in the mood for some righteous revenge. Read more

Rene Rodriguez, Miami Herald: Pity the fool who tries to reprise the role that made Arnold Schwarzegger an icon. Read more

Stephen Whitty, Newark Star-Ledger: Does it satisfy, this tale? In its own modest way, it does. Read more

Scott Tobias, NPR: There are swords and sorcery, pirates and monsters, taxed bodices and taxing mythology. In other words, there's the bare minimum necessary to summon this dismal movie into existence. Read more

Joe Neumaier, New York Daily News: It's just another ham-handed adventure flick in eye-deadening, wallet-draining 3-D. Read more

Kyle Smith, New York Post: You can't underestimate the vitality of a movie where manly men give orders such as, "We will cast our rivals into oceans of blood." Read more

James Berardinelli, ReelViews: The 2011 version of Conan the Barbarian looks cheap and feels rushed. The few good elements are dwarfed by a generic, nonsensical plot and shoddy storytelling. Read more

Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times: A brutal, crude, witless high-tech CGI contrivance, in which no artificial technique has been overlooked, including 3-D. Read more

Mick LaSalle, San Francisco Chronicle: Take a bad movie in two dimensions, film it in three, and what do you get? Three entire dimensions of lousy. Read more

Rick Groen, Globe and Mail: It ain't a pretty sight -- in fact, it's downright barbaric. Read more

Jordan Riefe, TheWrap: Read more

Richard Corliss, TIME Magazine: A gaudily ornamented medieval banquet table groaning with junk food and open entrails. Read more

Tom Huddleston, Time Out: Rent the original instead. Read more

Linda Barnard, Toronto Star: The very definition of the dumb summer flick, designed to squeeze a few last bucks out of the kids before school starts up again. Read more

Scott Bowles, USA Today: Conan the Barbarian lives by a pretty simple ethos: He lives, he loves, he slays. What he doesn't do, alas, is act. Read more

Peter Debruge, Variety: With all earnestness, Nispel embraces the property's classic roots, placing this new Conan squarely within the tradition of sword-and-sorcery pics. Read more

Mark Holcomb, Village Voice: Both truer to the vision of its character's creator, Robert E. Howard, and more satisfyingly pulpy than the 1982 movie incarnation. Read more

John DeFore, Washington Post: Momoa ... speaks in one of those trying-too-hard baritones heard in young jocks whose greatest fear is being called gay. Read more