Half Past Dead 2002

Glenn Lovell, San Jose Mercury News: This is an action movie with an action icon who's been all but decommissioned. Read more

Wesley Morris, Boston Globe: Wildly incompetent but brilliantly named Half Past Dead -- or for Seagal pessimists: Totally Past His Prime. Read more

John Monaghan, Detroit Free Press: Just like every other Seagal movie, only louder and without that silly ponytail. Read more

Richard Roeper, Ebert & Roeper: This is so bad. Read more

Susan Stark, Detroit News: Read more

Michael Wilmington, Chicago Tribune: Hip-hop prison thriller of stupefying absurdity. Read more

Elvis Mitchell, New York Times: After several scenes of this tacky nonsense, you'll be wistful for the testosterone-charged wizardry of Jerry Bruckheimer productions, especially because Half Past Dead is like The Rock on a Wal-Mart budget. Read more

J. R. Jones, Chicago Reader: The title of this dismal action flick refers to the Seagal character's having suffered a near-death experience, though he's returned from the other side with a remarkable lack of insight. Read more

Mark Rahner, Seattle Times: When Seagal appeared in an orange prison jumpsuit, I wanted to stand up in the theater and shout, 'Hey, Kool-Aid!' Read more

David Germain, Atlanta Journal-Constitution: Half Past Dead may be the year's funniest unintentional comedy for its inane plot, repetitive, unimaginative stunts and dreadful dialogue. Read more

Manohla Dargis, Los Angeles Times: Absent one original moment and bathed in de rigueur steel blue punctuated by sporadic bursts of flaming orange, the movie is notable only for its creative approach to Seagal's bulky gracelessness. Read more

Bruce Fretts, Entertainment Weekly: It's no use: At this point, the bloated action figure [Seagal] couldn't restore his street cred if he joined the Wu-Tang Clan. Read more

Ray Conlogue, Globe and Mail: A shoot-'em-up for cynical times. Its only asset is Seagal himself, and frankly, he's is getting a bit past it. Read more

Doris N. Truong, Dallas Morning News: Doesn't deliver a great story, nor is the action as gripping as in past Seagal films. Read more

David Chute, L.A. Weekly: A puffy-faced Steven Seagal, as an undercover Fed posing as a convict, ties on a doo-rag, exchanges longing buddy-movie glances with a couple of jaunty rap artists (Ja Rule and Kurupt) and goes lumbering off to battle. Read more

Jan Stuart, Newsday: Ear-splitting exercise in formula crash-and-bash action. Read more

Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times: It goes through the motions of an action thriller, but there is a deadness at its center, a feeling that no one connected with it loved what they were doing. Read more

Mick LaSalle, San Francisco Chronicle: About as weak a movie as can be made without actively trying. Read more

Geoff Pevere, Toronto Star: Divertingly ridiculous, headbangingly noisy. Read more

Derek Adams, Time Out: Sometimes, when you've just wasted a tenner and a perfectly good evening watching another dumb, gratuitously gun-filled, hackneyed, nonsensical action picture, don't you wish you were as thick, lazy and easily pleased as Hollywood wants you to be? Read more

Mike Clark, USA Today: First-time director Don Michael Paul can't make the action move, though he wisely keeps the lighting dark and murky so we can barely see whether withering star Seagal really can keep up. Read more

Robert Koehler, Variety: By the genre's most basic standards, [Seagal] now displays a visible fatigue and lack of interest that proves deadlier than any of his hero's skills. Read more

Walter Dawkins, Village Voice: Corny, nonsensical buddy flick. Read more

Michael O'Sullivan, Washington Post: Here, common sense flies out the window, along with the hail of bullets, none of which ever seem to hit Sascha. Read more