Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters 2013

Richard Corliss, TIME Magazine: The whole kidding trope, which you can bet was ordered by McKay and Ferrell, is pretty lame, and defeats the leads' attempts to bring shadings to cardboard cartoon characters. Read more

Neil Genzlinger, New York Times: There isn't much swashbuckling chemistry between Mr. Renner and Ms. Arterton, and the script doesn't give them enough of the witty lines that can elevate these types of movies to must-see status ... Read more

Rex Reed, New York Observer: I doubt that they had Strike Anywhere matches in the 14th century, and I'm pretty sure nobody said things like "Whatever happens, stay cool." Read more

Tasha Robinson, AV Club: It isn't a movie so much as a mechanical process. Read more

Tom Russo, Boston Globe: Wirkola tears through "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters" with such giddy abandon, it ends up being splattery fanboy fun. Preposterous, clearly, but fun. Read more

Ben Sachs, Chicago Reader: There isn't much to this beyond the poorly staged, rapidly edited violence; the witches, all but devoid of backstory, are basically canvasses for cartoon splatter. Read more

Tom Charity, CNN.com: If this long-delayed and blatantly pandering CGI malarkey is anything to go by, Hollywood's current craze for fairy tales isn't going to have a happy ending. Read more

Keith Staskiewicz, Entertainment Weekly: The movie has been sitting on the shelf for a while, and like, say, a house of candy you might find in the woods, it's gotten a bit stale. Read more

Stephen Farber, Hollywood Reporter: Lots of anachronisms and tongue-in-cheek dialogue establish the spoofy nature of this violent venture. All that's missing is a genuine sense of wit. Read more

Robert Abele, Los Angeles Times: For all the perspiration in jazzing up an old yarn, there's not a whiff of originality in how Wirkola engages with the perverse pleasures enshrined by the Grimm brothers, two of their era's shrewdest storytellers. Read more

Bruce Diones, New Yorker: Eighty-eight minutes of trash. Read more

Elizabeth Weitzman, New York Daily News: Even if he's slumming, Renner gets it best: his dry delivery fully acknowledges the movie's ridiculousness. If you're planning on entering this fractured fairy tale, you'll want to follow his lead. Read more

Lou Lumenick, New York Post: An exceedingly dull and stillborn attempt to update the Brothers Grimm. Read more

Peter Travers, Rolling Stone: This may be the longest 90 minutes you ever spend in a theater. You've been warned. Read more

Liam Lacey, Globe and Mail: The movie settles for showers of gore with intermittent moments of spoofiness. Read more

Peter Howell, Toronto Star: The film isn't funny enough for comedy or scary enough for horror, and the anachronisms are ludicrous. Read more

Keith Uhlich, Time Out: It's a grim fairy tale, all right. Read more

Claudia Puig, USA Today: At least it puts forth a sound message: Kids, avoid overdoing it on sweets -- especially candy that doubles as drywall. Read more

Andrew Barker, Variety: While the film rarely provokes any strenuous eye-rolling, it also can't drum up even the slightest interest in the fate of its characters, let alone suspense. Read more

Stephanie Zacharek, Village Voice: What on Earth are Renner and Arterton doing in this godforsaken thing? Read more

Bilge Ebiri, New York Magazine/Vulture: The good news is that the actors appear to be having fun. The bad news is that we're not. Read more

Stephanie Merry, Washington Post: A rarely funny spoof that's heavy on bone-crushing and blood-gushing. Read more