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Richard Corliss, TIME Magazine: It's like a giant sculpture that is so strange and off-putting, it's instantly, intriguingly post-modern. Swept up in the film's pile-driving self-assurance, even Bay-haters may absorb the pain to enjoy the gain. Read more
Glenn Kenny, MSN Movies: Behind the lunatic corruption of Pain And Gain there's a kind of monstrous clarity. Do with it what you will. Read more
A.O. Scott, New York Times: It all leaves you pondering whether you have just seen a monumentally stupid movie or a brilliant movie about the nature and consequences of stupidity. Read more
Joe Morgenstern, Wall Street Journal: Not only hollow and assaultive, but frenzied, madly violent and skullnumbingly loud. Read more
Claudia Puig, USA Today: A badly constructed, blood-spattered caper that comes unglued early on. Read more
Soren Anderson, Seattle Times: Skillfully made, genuinely funny and appalling for making light of true horror. Read more
Scott Foundas, Variety: Bay can be a master of exuberant chaos, but here the violence mostly lands with a sickening thud, which is fitting, one supposes, but also ultimately numbing. Read more
Nathan Rabin, AV Club: Any pretensions of satire, moral ambiguity, or social commentary get lost in a hurricane of empty, mindless spectacle. Read more
Barbara VanDenburgh, Arizona Republic: You can't thread a needle this fine with a script filtered through Bay's puerile id. Read more
Ty Burr, Boston Globe: Plays like "Fargo" for idiots. Read more
Ben Sachs, Chicago Reader: Bay is no Paul Verhoeven, but he's coming from a similar place here, purposely amplifying the ugliest qualities of American culture. Read more
Michael Phillips, Chicago Tribune: After an hour of "Pain & Gain," it felt more like "Pain & Pain." Read more
Tom Charity, CNN.com: This crude and ugly entertainment is as crass as everything this depressingly successful filmmaker has done. Read more
Peter Rainer, Christian Science Monitor: It's official. Michael Bay, director of the Transformers clobberfests, knows how to make movies about humans, too. The problem is, he thinks humans are robots. Read more
Tom Long, Detroit News: "Pain & Gain" brings the pain, but it's difficult to see the gain. Read more
Cary Darling, Fort Worth Star-Telegram/DFW.com: But at heart, it's still a Michael Bay movie: loud as a Harley at midnight, empty as a dance club at noon, yet as beautiful to look at as a sunrise in Miami, where it's set. Read more
Chris Nashawaty, Entertainment Weekly: With Pain & Gain, his surprising true-crime comedy, Bay has finally decided to lighten up a bit. Read more
Todd McCarthy, Hollywood Reporter: A ham-fisted, thick-skulled comic caper about bodybuilders-turned-criminals which, like its three protagonists, fully lives down to its own potential. Read more
Betsy Sharkey, Los Angeles Times: It makes for some stupid/slap-shtick fun of the Stooges variety -- that is, if Larry, Curly and Moe had been hunky gym rats engaged in illegal activity. Read more
Rene Rodriguez, Miami Herald: This is easily Bay's best movie, the work of a filmmaker with a cracked sense of humor that he is able to share with the audience. Read more
Richard Brody, New Yorker: A brash, vulgar, exhilaratingly vigorous, spontaneously complex hoot of a true-crime movie. Read more
Stephen Whitty, Newark Star-Ledger: It may be the best movie Michael Bay's ever made. And suggests that, if you just kept his toys put away a little longer, someday he might even make a better one. Read more
Scott Tobias, NPR: [Bay] blankets the film in a tone of smug self-awareness that obscures everything but its bald hypocrisy. Read more
Joe Neumaier, New York Daily News: Wahlberg and Johnson are the saving graces of an in-your-face movie about weightlifters who kidnap, extort and dismember their victims. Read more
Kyle Smith, New York Post: A dizzying lowlife saga that's fast, smart, wicked, sort of ambitious and blazingly ironic. Read more
Michael Sragow, Orange County Register: A movie that tries to turn a torture chamber into a comedy club. Read more
David Hiltbrand, Philadelphia Inquirer: Bay ... doesn't seem to realize the film has gotten away from him. He's still trying to maintain the same jaunty tone even after the content's gone gruesome. Read more
James Berardinelli, ReelViews: This isn't great cinema, but it's vastly entertaining in an overblown, in-your-face sort of way. Read more
Richard Roeper, Richard Roeper.com: Kudos to Bay and his screenwriters for making sure we're laughing at them, not with them. Read more
Simon Abrams, Chicago Sun-Times: As ambitious and vibrant as it is ugly and scattershot, "Pain & Gain" is the most charming Michael Bay movie in a long while. Read more
Peter Travers, Rolling Stone: In between scenes of the muscleheads torturing their victim, Bay indulges his taste for treating women as sluts and grisly brutality as a nifty excuse for a cheap laugh. Read more
Andrew O'Hehir, Salon.com: Michael Bay sends a clear message to those of us who've been making fun of him: He's been in on the joke the whole time. Read more
Colin Covert, Minneapolis Star Tribune: "Pain & Gain" could have been a dark comedy about lowlifes chasing the high life, but lacks the guiding vision to hold its clashing elements in balance. Read more
Joe Williams, St. Louis Post-Dispatch: In telling a true story about hapless thugs who are the embodiment of Michael Bay fans, the director has made the most fiendishly enjoyable movie of his career. Read more
Richard Lawson, The Atlantic: I left Pain & Gain wondering how it managed to be both Bay's most off-putting movie and his most artistically successful. Read more
Liam Lacey, Globe and Mail: The combination of the words "Michael Bay" and "steroids" should be enough to give any moviegoer pause ... Read more
Linda Barnard, Toronto Star: Pain & Gain brings fun to the multiplex with its story of knucklehead bodybuilders with pumped-up dreams and 98-pound weakling brains. Read more
Tom Huddleston, Time Out: The first hour may be Bay's career high point: it's fast, freaky, gloriously tasteless and startlingly pointed in its attacks on western insecurity, shallowness and greed. Read more
David Germain, Associated Press: All but the faintest flashes of humanity and pathos are flattened by the cinematic cyclone that is Michael Bay. Read more
Ciara LaVelle, Village Voice: Though this story needs no embellishment, Bay can't help himself. Read more
David Edelstein, New York Magazine/Vulture: Now [Bay] hits new levels of both artistry and sleaziness in the black comedy Pain & Gain, which I strongly recommend if you don't overvalue taste, subtlety, and moral decency. I liked it. Read more
Michael O'Sullivan, Washington Post: The whole thing is played for laughs that almost never come. Read more