Swept Away 2002

Glenn Lovell, San Jose Mercury News: As Madonna vehicles go, this one is hardly the worst. But it does show the diva-actress at her most unappealing. Read more

Wesley Morris, Boston Globe: After a ghastly start, it becomes a curiously affecting document of a director trying to show the world why he loves his wife -- not the changeling pop star, but the actress. Read more

Terry Lawson, Detroit Free Press: Turns out to be not only relevant but entertaining. Read more

Rene Rodriguez, Miami Herald: The fact that Swept Away got made at all implies there simply is no dissuading Madonna from her movie-star aspirations. Her tenacity is admirable, but it's also block-headed. Read more

Richard Roeper, Ebert & Roeper: Two of the least likable characters I've seen in a romance in a long time. Read more

Michael Wilmington, Chicago Tribune: The kind of bad movie that only talented people can make. Read more

A.O. Scott, New York Times: There is no credible feeling here, no comedy, no eroticism. Read more

J. R. Jones, Chicago Reader: Both husband and wife seem to be in way over their heads. Read more

Moira MacDonald, Seattle Times: Staggeringly dreadful romance. Read more

Christy Lemire, Associated Press: Every bit the cinematic shipwreck you'd imagine it to be. Read more

Manohla Dargis, Los Angeles Times: This rough trade Punch-and-Judy act didn't play well then and it plays worse now. Read more

Paul Clinton (CNN.com), CNN.com: Neither a rousing success nor a blinding embarrassment. Still, it just sits there like a side dish no one ordered. Read more

Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly: Sound the trumpets: For the first time since Desperately Seeking Susan, Madonna doesn't suck as an actress. Read more

Rick Groen, Globe and Mail: What Madonna does here can't properly be called acting -- more accurately, it's moving and it's talking and it's occasionally gesturing, sometimes all at once. Read more

Paul Malcolm, L.A. Weekly: On top of a foundering performance, [Madonna's] denied her own athleticism by lighting that emphasizes every line and sag. Read more

John Anderson, Newsday: New ways of describing badness need to be invented to describe exactly how bad it is. Read more

Rex Reed, New York Observer: If there is one thing worse than a Guy Ritchie movie, it's a Guy Ritchie movie with Madonna in it. Read more

James Berardinelli, ReelViews: A better title, for all concerned, might be Swept Under the Rug. Read more

Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times: It's lost the politics and the social observation and become just another situation romance about a couple of saps stuck in an inarticulate screenplay. Read more

Stephanie Zacharek, Salon.com: I wouldn't wish the stupefying dialogue of "Swept Away" on any actress, but to watch Madonna flounder through it is more punishment than I can bear. Read more

Mick LaSalle, San Francisco Chronicle: Even camp status eludes this tepid and misguided picture. Read more

Susan Walker, Toronto Star: For all his fidelity to the Wertmuller screenplay, Ritchie has made a movie that is neither as attractive nor as repulsive, and certainly not as funny, as the original. Read more

Dennis Harvey, Variety: The Vera Hruba Ralston of her time, Madonna has persisted in making movies despite all evidence that this is one medium in which no one wants to see or hear her. Read more

Michael Atkinson, Village Voice: Like life on the island, the movie grows boring despite the scenery. Read more