Reviews provided by RottenTomatoes
Mary F. Pols,
MacFarlane has definitely made the best leap from animated television to movies since 1999′s South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut.
...it does serve up a pretty jaw-dropping array of remarkably crude, nasty, and at times pretty gut-busting jokes.
New York Times:
The sin of "Ted" is not that it is offensive but that it is boring, lazy and wildly unoriginal. If Triumph the Insult Comic Dog ever got a hold of Ted, there would be nothing left but a pile of fluff and a few scraps of fur.
New York Observer:
Will it make you wince with embarrassment? That's a promise. Will you also laugh? In double-time, like a Rockette.
Wall Street Journal:
Everything goes on too long -- Ted's carousing, Lori's watchful waiting, John's wistful indecision.
An incongruously cute interspecies buddy comedy that's powered alternately by the pixie dust of boyhood imagination and the ruder, cruder urges of adolescence.
The one-note joke plays out longer and better than you might expect, at least for a while. But not forever.
A crass, foul-mouthed, mostly hilarious, surprisingly sentimental bromance about a grown boy named John and his teddy bear.
Like "Family Guy," "Ted" is only about its own hyperlinked pop culture references.
It's a goofy premise pursued with crass -- as well as sentimental -- relish.
Even though a lot of the movie is grating dumb-assery, it's something to behold. Stuffed with crap, but something.
You'll feel the warmth and camaraderie of a Bostonian and his little sentient bear.
Not too many films serve up laughs that just keep on rolling with regularity from beginning to end, but Seth MacFarlane's directorial debut does so and without any feeling of strain.
Much of the material works because the bear has someone to bounce off of; Wahlberg does his best work in situations like this, where he's playing it totally straight in a setting that's totally silly.
Los Angeles Times:
To fully appreciate "Ted," it's best to simply forgive its bad behavior upfront and save any apologies for liking it until later. Sorry.
This is exactly the same plot as The Muppets, in which Jason Segel was forced to choose between Amy Adams and Kermit the Frog.
Underneath the matted fur of the movie's foul-mouthed bear beats a very real heart.
The idea of a toy that comes to life - and then won't go away - isn't a bad one. Too bad that "Ted" manages to overstay its welcome without ever really coming to life itself.
I tried to resist but couldn't.
New York Daily News:
Not every joke scores, of course. But the hits are worth the misses, and anyway, the movie's true genius is in the way its outlandish scenario is played so perfectly straight.
New York Post:
I expected "Ted" to be a one-joke movie, but it's got ideas spilling out of its seams.
Ted is essentially a one-joke movie. Okay, it's a very funny joke, but it's still only one joke.
The plot of "Ted" is fairly standard but greatly embellished by MacFarlane's ability to establish comic situations and keep them building.
Seth MacFarlane's debut as a feature director hits all the sweet spots that irritate prudes. Ted is hysterically, gut-bustingly funny.
In a universe of Hollywood comedies that seem determined to insult the audience and pander to the basest form of post-adolescent fantasy, "Ted" feels almost sophisticated.
It is funny to watch a teddy bear wail on Mark Wahlberg. But afterward, I mostly felt beat up.
The stuff that sticks to the wall is so outrageously hilarious that it's ultimately worth enduring the film's lackadaisical pacing and lazy misogyny.
Sure, MacFarlane, you can make us laugh, but it's time to grow up. Seriously.
Ted ends up undermining both halves of its whole, as well as its creator's clear intent to add something a little deeper to his crassness.
Ted's real trick is turning a one-joke premise into a reasonable facsimile of a movie, and one that isn't entirely bent on grossing us out.
The natural interactions between Ted and his beloved man-child owner, John, terrifically played as an adult by Mark Wahlberg, are more often than not ridiculously funny.
[A] predictably irreverent satire that's sweeter and, sadly, less funny than you might expect.
What began as a promising, if unhinged, experiment in suspending disbelief starts to feel like "You, Me and Dupree" for plushies.