Valentine's Day 2010

Roger Moore, Orlando Sentinel: It's an American Love Actually without the warmth that writer-director Richard Curtis stuffs into his all-star confections, without the wit, without much love, actually. Read more

A.O. Scott, At the Movies: It's a very glib, shallow movie, but it keeps you moving around enough that you could actually have a good time. Read more

Michael Phillips, Chicago Tribune: Is Valentine's Day good? Not really, though plenty of the actors are. Read more

James Rocchi, MSN Movies: The real St. Valentine was stoned and beheaded; would that the same fate fell on the people behind this shallow, shabby fraud. Read more

John Anderson, Wall Street Journal: Valentine's Day deploys every rom-com cliche, minus the com-there's isn't a laugh in the movie, unless you count a fleeting sequence featuring comedian Larry Miller, who's also probably the least prominent member of the cast. Read more

Moira MacDonald, Seattle Times: With so many people hanging around, you'd think Marshall and screenwriter Katherine Fugate could scare up an interesting plotline or two, but no such luck. Read more

Nathan Rabin, AV Club: Valentine's Day explores love in all its myriad forms, from the sickeningly sappy to the cornball to the groaningly precious and obnoxiously cute. Read more

Bill Goodykoontz, Arizona Republic: Marshall, working from a script by Katherine Fugate, probably would have done better to pare some of the elements to concentrate more fully on... something. His golf game, maybe. Read more

Wesley Morris, Boston Globe: For those who prefer their romantic comedy in bulk, this is a steal. But attention Costco shoppers: Quantity here runs a distant second to quality. Read more

Betsy Sharkey, Los Angeles Times: The stars mostly shine, the story snippets mostly amuse and you'll barely notice all the empty spots where a plot used to be. Read more

Jake Coyle, Associated Press: Most successful is the chemistry between Grace and Hathaway, but with so many swings, that's a pretty low batting average. Read more

Cliff Doerksen, Chicago Reader: Valueless as entertainment, it's still useful as a disambiguation tool for those who confuse Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel, or Taylor Dayne and Taylor Swift. Read more

Christopher Kelly, Dallas Morning News: High art? Maybe not. But Valentine's Day certainly goes down easy. Read more

Lisa Kennedy, Denver Post: Charmingly cast and phenomenally so-so. Read more

Tom Long, Detroit News: Valentine's Day is a passing nod to love, like a box of chocolates or flowers that soon wilt. It's star-studded amiable fluff with no real value, but it's kind of a tickle if you're in the mood. Read more

Lisa Schwarzbaum, Entertainment Weekly: Every skit is lame, every line of dialogue is stale, every joke falls flat, and every performance has been phoned in between text messages to agents blinking, ''SOS!'' Read more

Laremy Legel, Film.com: Valentine's Day is clearly trying to play us for a rube, taking advantage of our kind hearts, but we won't get fooled again, will we? Read more

Rene Rodriguez, Miami Herald: Valentine's Day isn't a chore to sit through, but it isn't much to watch, either. Read more

Stephen Whitty, Newark Star-Ledger: Tiny, tangerine Alba seems interested only in beating Rosario Dawson's record for most bad movies in a career. Swift's film debut is more torturously abrasive than her Grammy performance. Read more

Elizabeth Weitzman, New York Daily News: Sugary, sappy and totally predictable. It's also what a whole lot of women are likely to want. Read more

Lou Lumenick, New York Post: Less funny or romantic than your average colonoscopy, this cringe-inducing bore provides dubious employment for four Oscar winners, two nominees and a raft of TV performers such as George Lopez, all of whom have been seen to better advantage elsewhere. Read more

Rex Reed, New York Observer: It's a romantic piffle stuffed with so much candy that your skin could break out. Read more

Carrie Rickey, Philadelphia Inquirer: As sweets go, it's not dense and complex like a truffle, rather, it's light and modest like a chocolate kiss. It's not art; it's a pick-me-up. Read more

James Berardinelli, ReelViews: The film's main problems are script-related. Read more

Richard Roeper, Richard Roeper.com: More than a dozen familiar faces are wasted in this trite, groan-inducing mediocrity. Read more

Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times: Valentine's Day is so desperate to keep all the characters alive, it's like those Russian jugglers who run around, trying to keep all their plates spinning on poles. Read more

Peter Travers, Rolling Stone: Valentine's Day is a date movie from hell. How did director Garry Marshall persuade a big name cast to stuff themselves into this box of rancid heart-shaped chocolates? Read more

Andrew O'Hehir, Salon.com: A Garry Marshall movie has to be funny in order to be anything at all, and this one is so deeply involved with its pseudo-meaningful roundelay of beautiful but inexplicably lovelorn people as to be teeth-grindingly, mind-warpingly boring. Read more

Mick LaSalle, San Francisco Chronicle: The running time is 125 minutes, a lot for a romantic comedy, but the minutes fly by. Read more

Dana Stevens, Slate: Contemplating the romantic prospects of Ashton Kutcher and Jennifer Garner, it's hard to summon up a sentiment beyond the one muttered by my viewing companion: "Fine, mush your boring faces together already." Read more

Colin Covert, Minneapolis Star Tribune: The film seems like a package deal arranged by a talent agency that found half its stars were idle for a day or two over a three-week period. Read more

Joe Williams, St. Louis Post-Dispatch: What might have seemed like a lively idea -- an all-star roundelay about love in Los Angeles -- is as fossilized as the wooly mammoths in the La Brea Tar Pits. Read more

Rick Groen, Globe and Mail: The film may be set in L.A., but no scene lasts longer than a New York minute. Read more

Linda Barnard, Toronto Star: Like a tiny car that putters into the centre ring at the circus and starts disgorging clown after clown, Valentine's Day has crammed 19 stars into one vehicle. The difference? Clowns are entertaining. Read more

Joshua Rothkopf, Time Out: Read more

Cath Clarke, Time Out: It's got a cold, shiny cash register right where its heart should be. Read more

Claudia Puig, USA Today: Valentine's Day has all the awkward tedium of a bad first date, without the promise or excitement of a good one. Read more

Todd McCarthy, Variety: As gooey and lacking in protein as a chocolate holiday bonbon, Valentine's Day plays like a feature-length commercial produced by the Friends of the Valentine Promotional Society. Read more

Jen Chaney, Washington Post: This feels less like a movie and more like a strategically programmed effort to turn as many demographic groups as possible into mooshy, gooshy, candy-heart-munching morons. Read more