Friday the 13th 2009

Critics score:
25 / 100

Reviews provided by RottenTomatoes

Amy Nicholson, Boxoffice Magazine: Even by slasher standards, the bar for a satisfying Friday the 13th entry is unabashedly low: Take teens, kill. Read more

Ben Lyons, At the Movies: We've seen it all before. Read more

Christopher Borrelli, Chicago Tribune: An SUV of dramatically varied teens (sluts, nerdy sluts, one black guy, other sluts) visit Camp Crystal Lake. Pot is smoked. Sex is had by all. Also, topless water skiing. Read more

Dan Zak, Washington Post: The movie knows it's a slasher flick made solely for commerce, it knows we know what it is, and yet it insists on feigning the song and dance. Read more

David Edelstein, New York Magazine/Vulture: You really have to screw it up to dishonor the memory of a movie as s****y as the original Friday the 13th. Heads should roll. Read more

John Hartl, Seattle Times: Everyone's working with a much bigger budget this time, but the end result is just as stupid and not as scary as the original. Read more

Tasha Robinson, AV Club: It's almost charming in its sheer lack of ambition, but the lack of creativity in its by-the-numbers shocks is harder to excuse. Read more

Bill Goodykoontz, Arizona Republic: While there is plenty of gore and gratuitous sex, the movie acknowledges the ridiculousness of it all, trusting that the audience -- one hopes -- is in on the joke. Read more

Wesley Morris, Boston Globe: It's The Hills, Bromance, The Real World, and Rock of Love with a body count. Read more

Mark Olsen, Los Angeles Times: The original handful of Friday films had a certain low-rent elegance about them, and this slickly done, dimly lighted, whiplash-edited update loses that too. Read more

Lisa Kennedy, Denver Post: This film is so last-century. Read more

Adam Graham, Detroit News: The series reboot is much the same, but it's easily the most effective -- and scary -- entrant in the franchise. Read more

Clark Collis, Entertainment Weekly: This film is (be)head and shoulders above the recently reanimated likes of Prom Night and My Bloody Valentine. Read more

New York Daily News: Soul-deadening homage, thy name is Jason. Read more

Kyle Smith, New York Post: Not to second-guess our law-enforcement authorities but... is the Crystal Lake PD really doing such a good job? Read more

Roger Moore, Orlando Sentinel: For all its attempted jolts, it's not all that scary. The genre is reduced to 'Who gets it next and how?' and never for a second makes us care. Read more

Tirdad Derakhshani, Philadelphia Inquirer: As Jason sequels go, this is one of the best, though that's not saying much. Read more

James Berardinelli, ReelViews: Remake, reboot, re-envisioning -- whatever you call it, it amounts to the same thing: a cynical money grab. Read more

Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times: Friday the 13th is about the best Friday the 13th movie you could hope for. Its technical credits are excellent. It has a lot of scary and gruesome killings. Not a whole lot of acting is required. If that's what you want to find out, you can stop reading. Read more

Andrew O'Hehir, This Friday the 13th is glossy, good-looking garbage, acted out by a cast of big-chested androids (male and female alike) and with the original series' rough edges smooved over. Read more

Peter Hartlaub, San Francisco Chronicle: Hopefully, there's something in President Obama's stimulus package that will help the ailing slasher-movie industry. Read more

Daniel Getahun, Minneapolis Star Tribune: To acquire a new generation of fans, it should be either horrifying or hilarious, and this Friday the 13th is ultimately neither. Read more

St. Louis Post-Dispatch: Read more

Stephen Cole, Globe and Mail: Despite an evident appetite for mayhem, however, Bay is not the right guy to produce slasher movies. Horror requires intimacy. Read more

Jason Anderson, Toronto Star: Faithfully adhering to the precepts of the slasher flick, it might even seem honourable if it weren't so disreputable. Read more

Joshua Rothkopf, Time Out: Read more

Nigel Floyd, Time Out: This is dull, unimaginative stuff. Read more

Claudia Puig, USA Today: The story has been pulled from its shallow grave, but not at all reinvigorated. Rather, it's been dusted off and repackaged for the sole purpose of raking in millions from foolish audiences. Read more

Rob Nelson, Variety: To say the new film is better shot and cut than those barebones gorefests of the Reagan era is to say nothing much, as even series fans would agree. Read more

Jim Ridley, Village Voice: For one ticket price, you get three shoddy Friday the 13th movies packed into one, which might constitute entertainment value if any one of them constituted entertainment. Read more