Reviews provided by RottenTomatoes
S. James Snyder,
With a total running time that barely hits 80 minutes, it's hard to believe they even paid [John] Malkovich and [Megan] Fox to show up.
Here's how you know Josh Brolin has become a movie star: Jonah Hex may not be much with him, but without him? Perish the thought.
Mary F. Pols,
The movie is laughable, but it's not funny, not even in a camp way.
Every once in a while, a film limps into theaters so stitched together, it's a wonder it doesn't rip apart in the projector. Jonah Hex is such a film.
Take the intriguing premise of a punk-rock Western based on a graphic novel, populate it with a good cast, add striking visuals and you come up with...a real mess.
The movie began life as a macabre postbellum western for DC Comics. Now it's lumbering action-camp following a video game plot.
Begins affably enough as a random slew of Leone-style squint-a-thons and shoot-outs but then loses it way in a dopey, anachronism-happy sci-fi plot.
[Brolin] is done in by the deathless mediocrity of the production, an assemblage of random camera shots, messy editing, redundant scenes, and witless dialogue as haphazardly stitched together as the flesh on Jonah Hex's face.
So short, and so bad, you cringe at the thought of how awful whatever ended up on the cutting-room floor must be.
Los Angeles Times:
In the comic book tradition, the story weaves between the real and the mythical, but it's a very boozy trip. Brolin's intermittent voice-over narration proves to be the most powerful stuff, with the rest curiously sputtering.
There's just one ingredient missing: anyone with a clue.
Brolin strides around talking to the dead and destroying things, mostly the good will he garnered after surprising everyone with No Country for Old Men and W.
New York Daily News:
If all you want is a bullets-and-bombs B-movie, you'll get your money's worth: Somehow, Hayward makes 82 minutes feel like hours.
New York Post:
The Western, with its code of short tempers and cheap life, sprang from the Civil War, but few Westerns connect the dots to demonstrate how the war must have created hollow nihilists the way Jonah Hex does.
Jonah Hex is a good performance and a few good lines buried in a script whose authors should do a little time in writer's hell for scribbling it.
If this represents the true vision of director Jimmy Hayward, then I have only one question: What was he thinking?
It's based on some DC Comics characters, which may explain the way the plot jumps around. We hear a lot about graphic novels, but this is more of a graphic anthology of strange occult ideas.
Director Jimmy Hayward fails to establish a viable reason for this movie to exist.
It isn't just that no effort is expended on old-fogey ideas like character development; it's more that Hayward doesn't even try to make individual scenes make sense.
San Francisco Chronicle:
I think Jonah Hex could have exceeded 80 minutes to make room for some real visual invention. And three-dimensional characters. And a plot. A plot would have been nice.
Globe and Mail:
Calling Jonah Hex a waste of time requires qualification, given the action flick weighs in at 82 minutes.
This looked to be a priority project by Warner Bros. at one point -- that is until cash spigot got turned off. The special effects are really cheesy, even by comic-book standards.
At 81 minutes with credits, Jonah Hex feels crude, lazy and entirely perfunctory.
All three of you clamoring for a sequel to Wild Wild West have got your wish.
Some movies seem so blatant an effort to appeal to a specific target audience that they ought to come with a viewers' advisory warning.
The film's noisy, slam-bang approach and lack of imagination in all nonvisual departments will keep it from rounding up a fresh generation of thrill-seekers.
Jonah Hex may not be the longest 81 minutes you ever spend, but it might well be the most tedious.